One of the things I have been working on, and getting better at, is being a good listener. I know, you’ve probably read those self-help-communications-for-couples books that talk about active listening (hearing, rephrasing, and asking questions, etc.). I think those techniques are fine, but if you really want to be a good listener, it takes effort and practice.

The payoff, and it’s huge, is it will help you in nearly every facet of your life, from your personal relationships to even your business relationships. And because being a good listener is really a rare skill, you will absolutely stand out from the crowd in a positive way. People will notice. Every time they interact with you, they will notice.

#1 Listening is a Single and Exclusive Task

Think about most of the business execs you know. They are usually reading their e-mail, talking on the phone, and playing with the blackberry all at the same time. Listening requires your full attention without any distractions. Be still and look at the person your are listening to.

#2 Process the Information You Hear Without Interruption

Most people spend the listening part of the conversation, simply lining up what they are going to say next, and then coil up like a tiger about to pounce on the first conversational opening that appears. Keep your attention focused on the person speaking. Respond if you are asked a direct question, otherwise just listen.

#3 Keep Your Agenda Out of It, Or Better Yet Don’t Have One

When you listen, just do that. Don’t try to think how you can use this information to push forward your own agenda. Just listen.

Practice, Practice, Practice

Try it for a while, see if you don’t discover the listener in you. So stand out, be a good listener.

Chris Kania, Information Architect

Read more: Junk Drawer | TrackBack URI